The
formation of any close relationship requires a certain level
of understanding that comes from mutual disclosure of personal
issues and feelings. While it may come as a surprise to many
people, studies have shown that people are more likely to be
honest and forth-coming on personal issues when asked over a
computer-mediated communication channel as opposed to a face
to face setting. When clinical psychologists first began to
use computers as part of the initial screening interview process
for new patients, they noticed that patients were oftentimes
more forthcoming when typing their responses to a computer rather
than telling them to the clinician face to face. In other words,
even though the end audience was the clinician in both cases,
patients were more likely to be honest and revealing when the
communication was mediated by a computer (Walther, 1996).
Part of the rationale for why this occurs
is that the absence of another person judging and reacting
to the speaker's words as they type makes it easier to disclose
personal issues. Anecdotally, many people who use instant
messaging systems (such as AIM or MSN) are able to talk about
more personal issues even if it is to someone who they know
in real-life. In both cases, the asynchronous nature of the
communication channel as well as the absence of another person
who judges the speaker instantaneously, with a full repertoire
of facial expressions, probably makes the speaker feel more
comfortable with disclosing personal information. This is
supported by both anecdotal information as well as survey
findings.
I'm not sure why I am such close friends
with my EQ buddies. I do know that my EQ relationships are
better than most of my relationships in RL. I think this
is because when you are talking with someone on-line it's
easier to talk about certain things since you don't have
to look at a person face to face. [m, 15]
It is amazing how much complete strangers
are willing to reveal about their personal lives. I believe
that the anonymity might make them more bold. [m, 28]
In a conversation between two individuals,
as soon as one side offers a piece of personal information,
it creates a kind of debt that encourages the other side to
do the same. This process is known as reciprocity in psychology.
When someone offers us something, we often feel somewhat obligated
to return that favor. In the case of disclosure of personal
information, the initial tidbit often sets off a chain of
increasingly personal exchanges. The ease with which this
information exchange occurs allows it to happen earlier and
more often than typically in a real-life relationship.
The Cleric I know only what he tells me.
But if I ask, he answers. We are very open and trust each
other. I mean it's great stress relief to tell someone who
doesn't know the people you know stuff about them ^_^. We
have spent some nights in dungeons waiting for people or
spawns chatting about our lives, what we want to do, and
so on ... [m, 20]
A lot of times when people are burdened with
something that is troubling them, they can feel better if
they can tell someone about it. The problem is that this is
not always possible in the real world. The anonymity of online
environments makes it easier for a lot of people to share
their personal issues, because oftentimes the very people
they might turn to in real life are part of the issue itself.
Another reason why the anonymity helps is because it removes
any fear of repercussions. A teenager who is unsure of his
sexuality is highly unlikely to share this information with
his friends and family. A husband who is experiencing difficulty
with his spouse might be able to talk about the problems with
an online friend without fear of aggravating the problem in
real life.
I would say its easier to open up to a person
whom you are only writing to and never have to face in RL,
I can discuss issues with some of them without worrying
that that they will tell my other friends about it. [f,
19]
It's easier to communicate without getting
uneasy about the usual "is he going to tell anyone
what I'm saying?" thing [m, 15]
Of course, this is not to say that everyone
who plays an MMOPRG will share their personal lives with their
fellow players, but in general, people are more likely to
disclose personal information online than in real life for
the reasons mentioned. But beyond a higher tendency of self-disclosure,
other factors facilitate the formation of online relationships.
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