Life as a Guild Leader
About 15% of players have been guild leaders at one point or another. In a recent survey, I asked some of these players to talk about their experiences and to describe pain-points and lessons learned. About 280 respondents wrote about their guild leadership experiences. Because the unique difficulties of leading and managing high-end raids has been covered in these two earlier articles, the material presented here will focus on other facets of guild leadership. What the player narratives make clear is that being a guild leader is tough, oftentimes a thankless job where moments of satisfaction are very memorable but rare.
I'm hoping that bringing their stories together here can serve two goals. First of all, the disparate experiences do reveal common pain-points that some respondents suggested potential solutions for. Players who are currently guild leaders or are thinking of becoming guild leaders might be able to glean some helpful information from them. And secondly, the experiences of these players highlight the complex, emergent properties of play in a networked environment. When you are the leader of a guild of 50 players, gaming can become more stressful than your daytime job.
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You Can't Please Everyone
Many guild leaders described how they tried to be everyone's friend and tried making sure that everyone in the guild was happy. The most common lesson that respondents learned was that it's simply impossible to please everyone.
The most valuable thing I have learned from playing the role of a guild leader is one akin to life: No matter what you do there will always be some folks that do not like you. [Legends of Cosrin, M, 30]
One reason why this is the case is because guild leaders do not have the resources to make everyone happy. And in fact, trying to do so creates a culture of asking the guild leader for more.
But the main reason you can't please everyone is because of the sheer diversity of needs and motivations in any group of people. Different guild members are in the guild for different reasons and derive satisfaction from different things.
The toughest thing about being a guild leadership is dealing with very disparate personalities among the members. Our members are older, have jobs and families … Because they are a more mature group they have stronger personalities and opinions. Occasionally this leads to conflict, either in how things are being done or how people are being treated by other guild members. [WoW, M, 34]
Another feature of the MMORPG demographic exacerbates this problem. Groups in real-life workplaces are typically composed of people with similar backgrounds, experiences, and training. Being a leader at college means leading people between the ages of 18-22. And the new recruits at big consulting firms every year are eerily similar people. But being a leader in an MMORPG means leading people between the ages of 10 and 70 - some have never had a job, some are professors, some are retired grandparents, while others are veterans. Pleasing everybody has never been so hard.
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Mediating Conflict
In any situation where people have different needs and motivations, conflicts will arise. Inevitably, the guild leader will be asked to become the mediator.
For many guild leaders, mediating conflict becomes stressful due to their petty nature and the time it takes to resolve these constant conflicts.
However, there is an awful lot of hand-holding and personal conflict resolution that you have to do. I know, in my first guild, I would find myself dealing with interpersonal player problems for 1 to 2 hours a night. I knew it was time to change when I found myself creating an alt - just to play without guild headaches. [EQ2, M, 42]
These conflicts tend to be particularly stressful because of the existing friendships and ties within the guild. Because guild leaders are friends with many players in the guild, these disputes oftentimes involve one or more of their friends.
the toughest thing for me is the Constant demand and pressure from guild mates, and conflicts between IRL friends and Friends i made in WoW. being the constant 'Anvil' those conflicts Hammer on can be a real Pain. [WoW, M, 24]
As several respondents noted, being fair and impartial was the most important aspect of mediating these conflicts.
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A Firm Hand
Many respondents noted that laying down a firm hand was important. Because many guilds start off as small, casual and friendly guilds, guild leaders oftentimes feel conflicted when it comes to disciplining guild members.
The most difficult thing was removal of someone that I had come to call friend because they wouldn't comply with guild rules and code of conduct. [EQ2, F, 48]
A common theme that arose was the uneasiness in learning that sometimes you have to be tough and say no. The following two players describe this transition in their leadership experience.
It took me some time to realize that as by nature I detest conflict and try to defuse situations by talking them through, however when leading a raiding guild there simply isn't the time to sort things out as 'touchy feely' as you'd like, and many seasoned raiders simply don't want to be treated that way. I made more than a few mistakes. I put up with far too much 'drama' when I should have stomped it out much quicker. I was a little tentative to use my authority at times when I should have been much more confident in my position. I allowed personality conflicts within the guild to consume far more of my time than they were really worth. Overall it was a draining experience but a very valuable lesson in leadership - unless you lead you aren't a good leader. [EQ2, M, 32]
Other guild leaders agreed that delaying these hard decisions tends to make things worse, and that problems tend to fester if they are not dealt with.
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Den Mother + Bitch Goddess
At the same time, several respondents articulated the duality of being a guild leader. It is not easy to be friend and leader at the same time.
The most valuable lesson I've learned from being a guild leader is: You'll never be everybody's friend, and wholly expect half the guild to have it out for you. There's two sides to being a guild leader. There's your social side, and your leading side. The social side is everybody's friend, the leader side gets things done. You have to break eggs to make cake, so to speak. [WoW, M, 23]
The notion that guild leadership was a form of motherhood echoed among other respondents.
And this aspect of being a guild leader also produced its unique set of challenges.
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In and Out
One final pain-point that emerged was the difficulty in picking the right people for the guild as well as the difficulty in kicking people out of the guild. Several guild leaders lamented that they oftentimes do not have the resources to screen potential guild members.
The worst of these cases would deliberately use the guild for their own persona gains and had no intention of staying with the guild.
I started off with high expectations and slowly got worn down by lack of support and the draining of your time by some members who rarely appreciated your efforts. These members usually added nothing to the guild but demanded both support (assistance in leveling, questing, items, gear, crafting etc) and also constant advice and information. These people either left to join a new guild at some point or would stop playing without any warning and hence made you feel less inclined to help them unless you knew and trusted them. [WoW, M, 33]
And as we've seen already, kicking people out is difficult for many guild leaders because they are uncomfortable with taking on a disciplinary role. But for some players, having someone leave their guild is sometimes an emotional loss.
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Make Rules. Follow Them.
As respondents discussed their difficulties in leading guilds, two important guidelines emerged. First of all, guild leaders highlighted the importance of having ground rules, making people aware of them, and being consistent with those rules.
Be consistent. NEVER deviate from your charter. Never assume that a conflict is a single dimensional issue. Get all the facts and then make your decision. Never jump to conclusions. Always be honest. NEVER show any favoritism. Everyone in the guild is on equal standing with you. [EQ, F, 48]
You can only be consistent if you have pre-established rules. And these narrative suggest that it is this consistency that makes conflict resolution and discipline far easier to deal with.
Delegation
Secondly, there is only so much one person can do. As a guild grows, it becomes impossible for one person to deal with everything that happens.
As the following players have learned, guild leaders need to learn to promote trusted guild members to officer roles and delegate duties to them.
One of the toughest experiences as a guild leader is to find players in the guild that are dedicated to the game and the guild. Because as a guild leader you need officers to help you run the guild as smooth as possible. Because the guild is the members in the guild. So as a guild leader i need to promote people to officers that help me create an active and fun guild to be a member of. [WoW, M, 35]
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Obligated To Play
Now that the difficulties and complexities of guild leadership and management have been laid out, it should not come as a surprise that many respondents described their game-play as an obligation. For many of these players, there simply was no longer time for "play" in the game.
It's tough that after a while you just feel that you have to log on so that you don't let down the other people in the guild, sometimes even if you are not really in the mood to play the game. Sometimes I neglect 'doing my own thing' in the game because I think it's part of my duties as a guild leader to help other members if they got questions or can't solve quests on their own. [WoW, M, 29]
The toughest thing for me, about leading a guild was just showing up. I never wanted the job, but I felt obligated to maintain the guild I loved. I spent an average of 4 hours a day replying to ICQs and e-mails while attending alliance meetings in IRC and writing up announcements for the website. This before I even logged in ... which when I did, being a RP guild I was forced to attend every event and function I was invited to, to keep up community relations. Not to mention weekly guild and alliance meetings or any impromptu meetings that came up. Whatever time I had left was used up dealing with the inevitable daily guild issues ... So I got maybe one to two hours a week for myself. [UO, M, 35]
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More Work Than Their Real Jobs
Some players described their game-play more explicitly as a second full-time job.
The single toughest thing about running a guild is managing people. It can quickly turn into a serious job. You have to referee disputes, come up with events, loot rules, and organizational structure, recruiting. In short, running a guild is a lot of work, just like managing people in a real life position. [WoW, M, 37]
Others lamented that they escaped into a fantasy world only to be doing their day-time jobs again, the difference being that they didn't receive pay checks in this fantasy world.
The toughest thing about being a guild leader is finding the middle ground between all the members, and being able to keep the group entertained at the same time. Being a guild leader is like being a manager at work, only without the paycheck. It's frustrating but rewarding to lead a group and see it function and grow, but it's a pain in the rear more often than not to get it to that point. [EQ2, M, 33]
The following narrative draws out an unsettling question. What happens when our leisure activities become more work than our day-time jobs? After all, how many of us get to lead 500 people in real life?
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Acquiring Leadership Skills
One theme that has flowed through many of the narratives we've seen is that people have learned important leadership and management skills from their game-play experiences. After all, leading people involves many of the same skills regardless of where it happens. Several players noted how these new skills have helped them outside of the game.
I learned several things; I could manage events for a few hundred people, I could mediate agreements, I began to notice traits in individuals which where helpful in predicting what they were most likely to do next or likely to be interested in. I learned to delegate authority without releasing responsibility. I am very proud to say that my experience strengthened my diplomatic skills which had never been a strong point prior to my experience. I also learned more about the internet, building sites, moderating forums that I didn't know before. [WoW, F, 56]
These examples highlight games as places where the opportunity to learn important skills emerges, without prior planning by explicit teachers, and without a set curriculum. Video games do change people, and fortunately, those changes aren't always towards mindless violence or aggression. It is unfortunate that so much of the current media attention on video games, with the incessant finger-pointing at addiction and violence, distracts us from the far more interesting ways in which games can affect and change people.
In being a guild leader for most of my 6 years of online gaming, I have learned a great deal about what power means in an online gaming environment; compassion, understanding, organization and cooperation are required, and I have become a better person for my experiences. My personal journey has been largely through my interactions with people who are intelligent, understanding, creative, supportive, skilled negotiators and good friends. We have people from all walks of life in our guild, and everyone has much to contribute to our ephemeral social fabric; we are all in the same guild by choice, and I am honoured to be among them. I may 'Lead' but really ... I learn and I follow by example. [EQ2, F, 42]